(Reading time: 6 - 11 minutes)

Some naming history: When my daughter Katie was in kindergarten she struggled with what to call her stepdad Tom and I. If she called us both Dad as she had been doing, it got confusing. Ultimately, she decided to call Tom, her stepdad, Dad because she was with him every day and I was called Daddy. 33 years later, that's what she still calls us. Katie's mother, Amanda, passed in December 2023.

The Story:

Nothing strikes terror into a man’s heart like the words “We need to talk” and that’s especially so when it comes from your grown daughter. Those were the words my daughter, Katie, had just spoken through the phone. I sat quietly waiting for the axe to fall. She said “Dad gave me all of mom’s journals. He doesn’t feel right reading them but knew I would enjoy them. I’ve read several from front to back and this morning, over breakfast, I was reading another. I now know where two pieces of my history come from. I’ve scanned one entry and emailed it to you.  I’ll send you a FaceTime invite for this evening and we can talk about it.” Without knowing what I was getting into I agreed.

I refilled my coffee cup before checking my email and there it was, scans of 5 handwritten pages from a wire-bound notebook. Instead of trying to read them on the screen, I decided to print them. As the diary entry unfolded I thought “Whoa boy!”

I had no idea she had kept a diary and no idea she had recorded this moment. It was always a special moment in my life and, while I had told several people about chasing the rainbow and finding it, I never told anyone I had a partner in crime.

I think it best for you to read the diary before I tell you about my FaceTime with Katie.


Diary: June 12th, 1990

Phil had picked me up for a software summit at DCA’s offices in Alpharetta. He always picks me up because my office is generally on the way to wherever we're going. I don't mind because we both love our long car rides and the talks we have are pure gold.

It was 12:20 p.m. and we were heading back to my office. We’re stopped at the light at Roswell Rd. and Azalea Dr. when this ginormous rainbow explodes across the sky. It looked like something out of a Bon Jovi concert and I let out an excited “Ohhh!” Suddenly he takes a right on Azalea. “Why are you turning?” He just looked at me and gave me that roguish grin and I knew our plans were changing.

"Phil! My 1:00 meeting!" I shrieked, feeling a mix of panic and (let's be honest) pure excitement. ”What are you doing?” He took my hand and I knew I was sunk. I don’t know what it is but when I’m panicked and he takes my hand, it’s like the angels sing and peace surrounds me and at the same time my insides go into flip-flop mode. He said, “We’re going rainbow hunting!”

Next thing I know, we're zooming down Azalea Dr. towards the Chattahoochee Nature Center, a place that holds so many special memories for us. We're practically glued to the windshield, both on the hunt for that elusive pot of gold (seriously, who wouldn't?). Suddenly he pulls into the Nature Center parking lot and yells “Come on!” as he bolts from the car!

Thank God I wore flats today! We took off towards a trail that looked like it was going in the right direction. The trail was uphill, not steep but uphill enough. We’re sprinting, hand-in-hand, giggling like teenagers. We were running as fast as we could, glancing skyward, watching the ground. We were both in pretty good shape but I was getting winded. I was about to beg for mercy (okay, maybe just slow down a bit!), when we burst into a clearing. And there it was – the end of the rainbow! Sparkling, mystical, straight out of a fairytale. The only thing missing was the damned bunny rabbit! I swear, the man's a romantic genius! I’m still stunned.

He grabbed me and pulled me into the misty end of the rainbow and we danced. Slowly, lovingly, dreamy, lost in each other’s eyes. It was pure magic, like something out of a Danielle Steel novel.

After a few moments, he slowly dropped our embrace and whispered “Take a moment and enjoy this by yourself.” I stood there bewildered as he stepped away. I wanted that moment to last forever!

I'll admit, my mind was a jumble. This whole thing was incredible, and I just wanted toRainbow in a wooded area hit pause on life. But instead of being a party pooper, I took a deep breath, spread my arms wide, and twirled. The mist tickled my face, and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. When I looked back at him, the smile on his face and pure joy in his eyes just melted my heart.

Okay, maybe I was being a bit selfish with the whole rainbow thing. I figured it wouldn't last much longer, so I stopped twirling, grabbed his hand and said, "Your turn!"

Without hesitating he walked into the mist, and then something unexpected happened. He dropped to his knees, his eyes closed, hands clasped together and began silently praying. It was a side of him I don't often see, this peaceful, vulnerable side. He only gets this way when we're completely alone, where he feels safe.

When the rainbow faded, I walked over, bent down and brushed a strand of hair from his forehead before kissing where the hair had lain. I was studying the serenity on his face, and then, those blue eyes opened. I could get lost in them forever.

Without a word, and never breaking eye contact, he stood up, and very tenderly tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear (the way he always does!), and in the softest of voices said "I love you."

We walked back to the car, a comfortable silence filling the space between us. Every stolen glance, every hand squeeze, spoke volumes. Several times I wanted to break the silence but I couldn’t find words that wouldn’t diminish the experience. When we reached the car, he opened the door for me and I slipped into the seat. Even then I hated breaking contact.

As he drove back to my office, we held hands and at traffic lights, we stared into each other's eyes but still, no words were spoken, none were needed. He pulled into a space out of view and slipped the car in park and we looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. Finally, I shook my head to try and break the trance and let out a shaky sigh. We still hadn’t spoken a word.

He got out and walked around to open my door (as he always did). He reached in and took my hand like a prince would take a fairytale princess and, I admit, my knees weakened.

As I stood, our eyes locked again. At that moment, I knew, with a certainty that took my breath away, that, no matter what happened, I would love this man, forever and always.

I had missed my meeting but no one said a word.


There are two people in my life who, when a FaceTime is scheduled, you can watch the second-hand tick, and the instant it reaches the appointed time, FaceTime rings. Katie is one of those people. So, as 6p arrived, it was no surprise to see her call come in.

I greeted her with a smile and she was her chipper self, which, frankly, was a bit of a relief because I had no idea where this was heading!

After a few pleasantries and finding out her husband had an emergency surgery to perform and wouldn’t be home until 9p she dove right in. “So, what did you think of Mom’s diary entry?” I smelled a trap! I wanted to run!

“I thought it was very sweet, what did you think?” (Okay, let’s invite her to get what’s bugging her off her chest!)

She laughed (another sign that I may live another day!) and said “Well, when Mom said to me ‘when he reaches out and holds your hand, be warned, you're about to experience love in a way you've never known’ I had always wondered why she chose those words and now I know.”

“Oh really. Tell me more” I prodded. She said, “Well, this diary entry is the most profound but there are others where she talks about being upset or worried or whatever and you would just take her hand.” I smirked. “There are other entries” she continued “In one she was furious about something at work and you two sat on a park bench. You were listening and you took her hands in yours and she wrote that it felt like you were drawing her anger out like it was poison.” I chuckled at that misplaced memory.

“What else did you learn?” I asked. Katie sighed and said, “Well, when you and I have gone chasing rainbows, I always thought it was something just between us and, honestly, I was a little hurt to find out it was something between you and Mom.” 

“I see” I said. “Well, I never told you about it starting with me and your mom because I didn’t want that moment to cause Tom any pain and, if possible, I wanted to extend the experience to you and share that part of our history. I never imagined in a million years that your mom was keeping a diary or that this would surface.” 

I sat quietly as she wiped tears from her eyes. Finally, she said “I always wondered why, when I told Mom about our rainbow chasing in Florida she got this mischievous twinkle in her eyes. She knew what you were doing and it made her happy.”

Then I asked, “Did it upset you when Hannah and I chased a rainbow?” “Not at all, Daddy! I was happy she got to enjoy the adventure. But now, knowing the history, I need to think about it.”

I agreed to put my rainbow hunting on hold.

“But one other thing Daddy, I think you need to write about this. It’s just the sweetest moment in a love story that turned into a friendship that led to mom marrying Dad and me getting the best stepdad in the world, me having the best daddy in the world and you getting Tom as best friend.”

“Oh, Honey! That’s a heavy lift!” I replied.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because Tom is one of my best friends and I would never do anything to hurt him. He knows your mom and I dated. He knows we made love. He knows we had you. He knows all those things but I’m not sure he needs to know any of these romantic moments.”

“Trust me, Daddy, they were married for 28 years so they’ve had plenty of their own magic moments and she journaled about those too.”

I told her I would think about it. I’ve spent a week thinking about it, asking friends for advice, and ultimately, I decided the best course is to type up her mom’s diary entry, add these notes, and then let a few friends read it. I sent it to Katie which prompted another tearful FaceTime. 

Finally, it was time I FaceTimed with Tom about it, he read this, and, without hesitation, he said “Go for it!” I looked at him with apprehension. He smiled and in a reassuring voice said “She made loving her easy. She made every moment of life special. We were two lucky SOBs to get the chance to love her but I was the luckiest because I got to spend 28 wonderful years with her, I got to help raise Katie and I got you as a friend. Go for it!”

Still, I’m apprehensive.